| | it is 5:35am ... i've had about 4 hours of sleep. i woke up thinking about graduation. then my mind wandered to my farewell parties taking place next week -- friends on saturday night, family on sunday afternoon. then i started thinking about those 5 days before graduation, and how reclusive i plan to be. i'll be an emotional wreck.
then, i started thinking that in 2 weeks and 1 day, i'll be driving to oregon to start a brand new life.
i cry. because there are so many people here that i am going to miss. i grieve over the loss of proximity with these friends and family, but celebrate the fact that i carry them with me in my heart. i celebrate the possibility of our paths crossing again.
i feel so sappy lately. and i hate to admit that. but i do. its like someone keeps playing Michael W. Smith's "friends are friends forever" in my head, and whoever it is that is playing it has put it on repeat. not that the actual lyrics play in my head, or the cheesy 80's music, but just the theme of it all. leaving people. moving on. grieving relationships that seem to be coming to an end.
deep down, i'm not a big fan of change. i value the fact that everything has been extremely consistent in my life. everyone that i know deeplyand everything i have been in extreme need of has been provided here in michigan. and i'm leaving that.
honestly, i'm scared. and this morning is only a ramification of that fear.
lord, give me a spirit of boldness, of power, and a sound mind. lead me to where you are.
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| | Posted 4/22/2006 5:40 AM - 15 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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